Fright Night

Michael James Treacy

witchy woods 2

Fright Night

     Bert and Harry had met at the ‘Hunter’s Moon’ village pub every Wednesday night at 7 pm for the last 15 years. Both now suffered from ‘old man’s bladder’, and restricted themselves to two pints each. Harry, being the more progressive, would choose lasagne or a pasta dish for his meal, whereas Bert would invariably choose fish and chips, or pie and mash. They always sought out their favourite corner of the lounge to sit.

     “Nice pint,” Harry remarked after he’d taken his first sip. “Did you get your results from the doctor?”

     “Aye,” his friend replied. “Blood pressure high, cholesterol high, blood-sugar high. The tablets will make me rattle.”

     “It’s a bit of a bugga, but good to be alive.”

     “Did you do anything interesting this week?” Bert took the conversation in a totally different direction.

     “Yes,” came the response. “I went to the art gallery. It was mainly to get out of the rain when I was shopping up the town centre.”

     “Anything interesting to see?”

     “Yes… a weird painting. It had three ethereal creatures flying through a forest, and three wolves running beside them.”

     “Blimey, that’s a strange one. Were they fairies?”

     “Too scary for fairies. I think it was an Irish painter, so they’re probably banshees.”

     “If Ireland is involved, they could be leprechauns.”

     “Nah… leprechauns are male and friendly. These were female, and enough to scare the wotsaname out of you.”

     “What were the wolves doing? Were they chasing the banshees?”

     “No, just running beside them. Apparently, banshees fly around at night, and call out the names of poor souls who are about to pass on.”

     “Aw heck… I don’t want to hear them for a while yet.”

     The two friends continued with small talk while they each finished their meal, and downed their second pint. At 9 o’clock sharp, they headed along the winding lane to their respective homes. It was a cold, blustery night and they pulled their coats tightly around themselves. There were no street lights while they walked alongside Witchy Wood, but Harry had brought his powerful flashlight, which partially illuminated their way home.

     “Spooky old night,” Bert observed. “I hope we don’t bump into any of those banshee creatures.”

     “Nah,” Harry scoffed, “you don’t get any of those on this side of the Irish Sea… only friendly little fairies round these parts.”

     “What’s that?” Bert suddenly asked. “Shine your torch over here… there’s something in the bushes.”

     His friend swept the torch in the direction indicated, and the light picked out a pair of demonic-looking eyes. Both men jumped back in fear.

     “Bluddy ‘ell!” Bert shouted. “It’s one of those wolves you saw in that painting.”

     “Wait… it’s just a fox,” Harry replied as the eyes disappeared, and the sound of an animal was heard scurrying through the undergrowth.

     “Gawd blimey,” Bert gasped. “Almost scared the wotsaname outa me.”

     “Come on… we need to get ourselves home.” Harry advised. “We’re imagining things.”

     They hurried down the winding lane, when suddenly they heard an eerie sound coming from the direction of the wood… woo-woo, woo-woo, woo-woo.

     “Flipping ‘eck!” Bert yelled. “It’s those banshees! Try not to listen if they call out your name, Harry.”

     “It’s just an owl,” his friend corrected. “You’re scaring yourself… and me!”

     Hurrying further down the winding lane, they heard yet another rustling. “Check it out if you want,” Bert gasped. “I’m scared to look.”

     Harry shone his torch towards the sound, and this time, the light pick out two startled pale faces with wide, staring eyes. “Bluddy ‘ell!” exclaimed both men as they took off down the winding lane with as much alacrity as their geriatric legs could muster.

     The two bodies that owned the staring eyes suddenly leapt bolt upright. “Was that my Dad?” A female voice asked in alarm. “He said he was gonna kick you up the jacksie if he ever caught you again.”

    “Huh?” a male voice replied in equal alarm. “Let’s get out of here.” Both figures then ran up the winding lane with as much alacrity as their teenage legs could muster.

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Postcards from Earth

By SusanT | 10 March 2024

Dear Grandpoppypops Wish you were here? Look at the size of the stamps now! So much larger than the penny black you showed me from your visit. Not much has changed so far as I can see in human structure, society is still set on exploiting other sections of itself. Your industrial revolution really set…

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A Bowl o’ Stew

By Jonny | 10 March 2024

Flann O’Brien’s much-loved character – The Brother – transported to the 21st century. What would he make of contemporary trends and fads? This episode imagines his reaction to Molecular Gastronomy, Nouvelle Cuisine, and the tampering of a subject very close to his heart. ****************** Now the brother has a thing or two to say on…

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Writing Distractions. Oh my!

By James Charles | 8 March 2024

This is my first post on this forum, so I wanted to do something short and light. What types of distractions interrupt you when you’re hammering away at your keyboard? The phone rings? Your significant other shouts at you from the other side of the house? Your cat comes in and plops down onto your…

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Go beyond the usual guide book notes of the Trevi Fountain and savour its unexpected pleasures.

By Eva Ulian | 7 March 2024

PART ONE Walk through the heart of Rome and you will be lured in one direction and then another as instantaneously as a magnet does with a piece of iron… The Pantheon will attract you with its metaphysical force of the gods, the Foro Imperiale with its magnitude of power… while the Fountain of Trevi…

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Details Matter

By MattScho | 6 March 2024

My first day as a professional writer, I lifted a police report from the pile at the Coffeyville station and read “Murder.” Now, this was a small town, and I was pretty sure this sort of thing was a rarity. I wasn’t sure there had been much in the way of this most heinous of…

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Writing Different Genres

By Claire G | 6 March 2024

First Things First I’ve never understood people who have a favourite song, book or film. Surely your choice depends on your mood. It’s the same with genre. Maybe today I fancy reading something light-hearted and fun. Tomorrow I might want to feel a shiver run down my spine. The next day I might be enticed…

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The Magnificent 7 Leave Switzerland

By Pamela Jo | 2 March 2024

     Lucky seven they say, but the morning I had to load that many strong-minded mustangs onto a lorry at the top of the Swiss Alps with a 4am deadline, it seemed a doomed number. Especially when lorry drivers with ferry schedules and EU regulations have famously short fuses. They have been known to…

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If you’re reading, you’re writing

By Vagabond Heart | 1 March 2024

Hands up anyone who’s had a bit of writer’s block? Looking around I can see that’s pretty much all of us, right? Even you at the back, hiding behind your laptop screen, pretending you’re doing research into character types, whilst actually playing Royal Match and posting videos of your cat. Why do we have such…

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Litopia Book Club Selections February – September​ 2024

By AgentPete | 1 February 2024

I’m delighted to give you an early peek into this year’s Litopia Book Club selections, together with relevant purchase links.  It’s a particularly strong and carefully-selected list, and as you’ll know if you’ve attended one of Jason’s riotous Zoom sessions, a good time can be guaranteed for all! For further information and exact dates, please…

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Writers Beware – The Seminar Goldrush

By AgentPete | 17 August 2021

Selling highly-priced, poor-value seminars and writing courses to aspiring authors isn’t just unethical – it’s also damaging to the publishing industry, says Litopia’s Peter Cox in this article for “The Bookseller” That old scoundrel Sam Brannan would have felt completely at home in today’s publishing business.  Sam, you may recall, was the original promoter of…

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