If Worldbuilding Were Left To Its Own Devices

A cramped and mouldy backstage room. The Director knocks on the door. Worldbuilding continues painting tiny model trees. The Director opens the door. Worldbuilding does not look up.

I’ve almost finished!

It’s me, the Director.

Hi boss! I left the blueprints for the Porcelain Palace on your desk.

Yeah… I’ll get to those later. For now, I’m holding a production meeting.

Sure, just give me another three weeks to finish—

I am holding it here and now. Just you and me. We have things to discuss.

Oh? Oh. Okay, come in. Mind you don’t step on the maps.

Are these maps relevant?

Director! They’re from the 19th century exploration of Antarctica. We need them for next year’s production!

…which will be murder mystery set in a windmill in Flanders?

Yes! For research on ice fields. And the top speeds of sled dogs.

What is the top speed of a sled dog…? Never mind. I need an update on our current production.

Ah, yes. I have completed the linguistic system for Minor Character Q. Here’s the binder.

Oof. Substantial.

Not really. Just my collection of useful phrases. I’ve left the actual dictionary at home.

But Minor Character Q only dies in Chapter One. In fact, she appears on a single page, at most. Does it have to be so… thorough?

Director!!! Are you suggesting we build an entire culture with nothing but a few common stock phrases?

Now that I think about it, she barely says anything. Mostly “the ones you’re looking for are in that there tavern.”

Yes, and I have had some ideas about that.

Oh?

If you would just turn to the green section…

…hmm, yes. I see. So you think she might only speak in verse?

Yes! Exactly! Now look at page seventy-three.

Worldbuilding, this is truly fascinating. Do you mean to say that her people communicate solely in four-footed trochees?

During business transactions, yes. But when there is personal conversation to be had…

Wait.. wait. That is… something we can talk about later. For now, we need those Shadowstone Forest plans. Action is about to plan out a few sequences with Protagonist.

Oh! I am so glad you asked! Here, I have prepared a compendium.

It’s…my goodness. Only 491 pages? And, ah, most of it seems to be on a geological formation situated at the heart of the forest. I wonder, will this formation be visible to the audience?

No, Director. Not from this angle. But it is a batholith.

You’re kidding.

No! A true delight, sculptured from rising magma.

It’s going to be beautiful!

It is!

Shame nobody’s going to see it.